I just finished watching Sen. Jack Harts St. Patrick’s Day Breakfast from Southie and was disappointed at how tame and unfunny it was.

Today’s Politicians don’t have the natural flare or wit of a Bill Bulger, Tom Finneran, Charlie Flaherty or Bob Crane. The local level has been a little tame and the same.

In the past guys like Ken Harkins who was a great MC as we are reminded on Dick’s blog with some vintage 89 footage could keep things funny. But the last few years haven’t been full of belly laughs.

Since I wasn’t invited again this year to be on the Dias, here are a few ditties that I wrote and any and all are free to re-use them at the Breakfast (at your own risk)..Enjoy

To the Tune of McNamara’s Band:
Oh my name is Buddy Caulfield and the mayor I used to be. On Tuesday nights and Wednesday was the King of your TV. I’d chair the City Council and the School Committee too, the one who got the last word was the King you know it’s true.

Now that I’m a councilor and just one of the nine. The new guy Patrick Murphy says I can’t talk all the time. 5 minutes on a topic that how’s is gotta be, so my loyal viewing public now will see much less of me.

To the Tune of Take me Out to the Ballgame:

Come back now Armand Mercier, come back quick Mike Lenzi, where is Alan Kazanjjian? TJ and Bellgarde could both use a hand.

For Tom Byrnes we filled a few potholes and Lynchy called the IG. Soon thier gone and soon he’ll bring back his buddy ANDY !

An Old Schoolyard Taunt !

Chris Scott and Campy sitting in a tree? MEET ING
1st comes muffins, next a gown
Then Campy’s writing putting the School Committee down.

To the tune of My Bonnie:

The Headmaster now is retiring, Today he’s willing to stay
The Headmaster now is retiring, we just do not know day to day.

The Superintendent she’ll find a replacement, If she can find one she likes. Just please Chris don’t ask Kevin Murphy or we’ll probably end up with his wife.

Brian Martin wanted to be the Headmaster, but he says he won’t re- apply. If you put away all of your BIAS you’ll see that he’s well qualified.

So we search and we search for a Master, Will Fitzy put in for it twice? Chris Scott says she’ll just keep on searching till Campy tells her that she’s got it right.

To the Tune of We Three Kings:

We 3 Reps from Lowell Area, take no guff from near or afar
Serve together, Serve FOREVER never to face someone twice.
OH OH First comes Kevin then there’s Tom, Dave Nangle can do no wrong. Stick together Serve forever, Pangy protects us all.

A Politician and City Workers Prayer:

May the sewer pipe extend to meet you, may the camera be looking always at your back and may we each retire with full pensions and buybacks before the Grand Jury indictments come back.